Life On The Outernet

27 and still single. Am I scared? Am I ashamed? The answer is no. I am not. All those around me are either engaged, married, married with kids and so on. But me? I am still enjoying my life as a single woman. To be pretty honest, the main reason why i'm still not married at this age is just this; i am not ready. A very simple reason, really. I am not ready to live with one person for the rest of my life. I am not ready to give away my freedom once i got married. To make it simple, i am not ready to bear responsibilities that come with marriage. (And i really hate the fact that you have to tell your husband your every move once you got married. That is so suffocating and subtly controlling, full offense.) One more thing, i feel responsible for my parents. As the youngest in my family, i feel obligated to take care of my parents and make them happy. If i got married, i know i won't be able to meet them very often. So i came up with a new goal in life; i am go...

I think i have lost the one person i called my best friend. We haven't spoken/had a proper conversation in more than a month. He was quiet, and so was i. I thought maybe it was my fault. I waited & gone quiet for too long, resulting in him shying away from me. Maybe he thought i wasn't interested in being his bff anymore. Maybe he thought i abandoned him by not texting/talking. I did not. Maybe i was dumb for not texting him first, asking about his wellbeing. I honestly don't know what's going on with me & my life anymore. Or maybe he has a girlfriend who doesn't want him to be friends with me anymore. Or maybe i was thinking way too much & he was just simply busy with assignments & stuff. I don't fucking know anymore.. I feel like a real loser. I have a reason why i always feel like shit & i don't wanna mention it here, and he knows about it. What he doesn't know is that 'that problem' makes me feel like a sore loser. ...

I want to write something on this blog.  I want to become an active blogger like how I used to be.  But I can't do that anymore... Now, I blog once a month, once a year... There is no in between.  I might be lying if I said I don't know why I don't blog anymore, because I know exactly why.. I am lazy. That's the answer. I am lazy to blog, though I really, really want to. The second reason is because I don't know what to write. I used to have lots of ideas but now I have none. Even if I had an idea, I wouldn''t blog it because I didn't know how to write it. I think my English writing skills have deteriorated ever since I started learning Korean. I am slowly losing my ability to write in English, I can feel it. That is why I need to blog from time to time, to maintain my English skills. But then again, I'm lazy to do so. How did my English writing skills deteriorate, you ask? Well, since November 2013 I spent most of my time watchi...

I'm pretty sure I am not depressed. Maybe just a little sad, but definitely not depressed... I have a friend. A close one. Maybe the closest. Well, at least we used to be. This may be all in my head, but I think we're growing apart. We're not as close anymore. We rarely talk (or in this modern world; via whatsapp). I realized one thing; this happened since I started getting into KPOP. Our friendship/relationship isn't how it used to be. We used to talk almost everyday and about almost everything there was to talk about, especially music. But ever since I became a KPOP fan, I changed. My music preferences changed. I don't listen to the songs I used to listen to. And this took a toll on our friendship(?). We don't talk about music anymore. Because my friend hates KPOP and I don't force my friend to like it as I respect one's opinions and preferences. We ran out of topics, maybe that's why we don't talk as much. But this doesn't mean I comple...

For the first time in 10 years, I forgot his birthday... Wished him a HB every year without fail, When he didn't even remember my birthday. Got me asking to myself, "Do i really need to remember his birthday when he clearly don't give a shit about mine?" Today, i will stop giving a fuck. Sayonara.

Just another week left before I get to see my boyfriend.... ;) I miss this little munchkin so much! Can't wait to go back home & hug him! xo

This could be the shortest raya I've ever experienced. It only lasted 5 days. Yep, FIVE . Got home (Penang) on August  4th. 1st day of raya was on August 8th. Went back to KL on August 12th. Why? Because my exams start on Tuesday, August 13th. And I haven't studied / revised a thing. I didn't even bring my books / notes with me. HA! I'm so dead.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN! From Khalish... Me & my whole family... :)

A few days after the Lawson showcase, we received our M&G pic.. I was happy with how the picture turned out to be. It. Was. Perfect. :') I should've posted this pic loooooooong ago, but I was busy with uni & lazy to update my blog like I used to. I turned 22 approx 2 weeks ago, I didn't get any presents from anybody, but..... I got a very special present 3 days before.. An early birthday present, the BEST present I've got in my whole life. LAWSON. I met them, I talked to them... It was more than I could ever ask. Money can't buy those... I feel extremely grateful to be given a chance to met them & seen them live... :') Thank you, Lawson. x

This is my new nephew. His name is Khalish. And he's my new love. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a cute little baby to cuddle ? ;)

Went for a little "date" with my BFF today and it was great! What we did: 1. Watch "Jack the Giant Slayer" . Awesome movie! 2. Had lunch at KFC... and... 3. Had this coffee... Buy 1 free 1, haha. Thanks, BFF. :D

I have my own superhero.  No, it's not Batman or Iron Man.. It's this little boy... I miss him so much.. :(

So today I went on a "date" with my BFF. The first thing we did was singing our hearts out a.k.a karaoke at Red Box Plus, Pavilion KL, and here's the list of the songs I chose to sing... : 1. Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum 2. Standing in the Dark - Lawson 3. Whatever It Takes - Lifehouse 4. Backseat Serenade - All Time Low 5. Learn to Love Again - Lawson 6. Cough Syrup - Young the Giant 7. Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato 8. Begin Again - Taylor Swift 9. I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift 10. Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus 11. Never Too Late - Three Days Grace 12. Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth ft Emily Sande 13. Kiss You - One Direction 14. Little Things - One Direction 15. Oath - Cher Lloyd 16. Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne 17. It's Time - Imagine Dragons 18. Mean - Taylor Swift 19. Wish You Were Here - Avril Lavigne 20. Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift 21. Back To December - Taylor Swift And after ...

The Sters were finally at one place, at the same time! Woot! Date: 19 January 2013 Place: KLCC This were our first ever meeting after years of being friends on Twitter. So happy to finally meet these retards that I've been taking to on Twitter almost every day. :D Err, idk what the hell happened with my left arm right there...... L-R: Dzul (Dougie Poynter no. 2), me & Farah a.k.a Famira. Those retards made me laugh like an idiot. Lol. I looked soooo awkward in these pics. *Sigh sigh sigh* The photographer, Umairah a.ka. Maiyai. :) It was one of the most amazing days I've ever had. I wish to meet them again some time this year.  Can't wait! :)

I love this new life I'm living right now. Everything feels right. At least for now. I can't wait for classes to get started, I can't wait to hang out with my BFF this coming Monday and many days to come. I can't wait to see Paramore live in concert next month. So many things to look forward to, so many time to make new memories with new (and old) friends. :) These are the pics I posted on my Instagram. Yes, I do have an Instagram. iekadurrani, follow me... Don't be shy... ;)

So, hey all! Sorry for the lack of updates. As y'all know, I am now a bachelor student and tomorrow's the last day of orientation, yaaaayyy! I'm loving my new life at this new place. So far so good. Can't wait to explore the whole side of this town during weekends! ;) I would love to write more but my eyes are half closed. So tired. Will write more soon. Till next time.. xoxo. And OMG!!! FIRST LOOK AT KATNISS & FINNICK IN "CATCHING FIRE" !! Holy schmoly guacamole!!! *dead*

It's 2013. So many things are coming my way this year... 1. Paramore (17 February 2013) 2. Lawson (some time in April) Those are THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS! For now. And then, on Jan 6th, I'll be a student once again. Bachelor of Business Administration (HONS) (Management & Entrepreneurship) Not gonna lie, I'm so stoked about becoming a student again. I can't wait to bury myself in books. Books, not assignments. >.< Since it's January, the winter break is almost over for my favourite tv series. YAY!! 1. The Vampire Diaries (January 17) 2. Revenge (January 6) 3. Once Upon a Time (January 6) 4. Arrow (January 16) 5. American Horror Story (January 2) 6. Elementary (January 3) 7. Nashville (January 9) 8. New Girl (January 8) 9. The New Normal (January 8) 10. Beauty and the Beast (January 24) 11. Glee (January 24)

Yeap, that's right. My boss is the biggest c**t, w****r & p***k I've ever met. If it weren't because of my mom & Lawson, I wouldn't want to work with you, you a**h***! You think with your money, you could buy respect? Well, newsflash! RESPECT IS EARN. And you obviously didn't deserve any of it. Hope you'll d** so that you won't step on people's head anymore, you son of a b***h!

I have graduated from college. I am a holder of Diploma in Business Management. I am proud of myself, not gonna lie. :') With our beloved lecturer / mentor who put up with all our shits & stuff for 3 whole years. :') Mak & Abah, I did it. I graduated with CGPA 3.61 & I hope I've made you proud. I did it all for you both. I wouldn't even go to college if it wasn't because of your endless support; morally & financially. I owe everything to you, and someday, someday I will pay all my "debts" to you.  I love you. xx

A year ago today.... Now, all I need is a time machine..